he Biggest Nose Wins the Girl
In the bustling town of Belford, where gossip flowed as freely as the river that ran through it, a peculiar tradition had long been upheld. Every spring, the townspeople gathered for the Annual Nose Festival, a celebration of prominent profiles and distinguished schnozzes. Though the origins of the festival had been lost to time, one thing remained certain: the man with the most remarkable nose always won the grand prize—the hand of the town’s fairest maiden.
This year, the prize was none other than Margaret Bloom, the mayor’s daughter. Margaret was the jewel of Belford, admired for her kindness, wit, and an enchanting laugh that could turn even the bitterest souls warm. Suitors from across the county polished their nostrils and flared them wide in preparation for the contest, eager to prove their nasal supremacy.
Among the competitors was Rupert Finch, a lanky young man whose nose could have been mistaken for a royal scepter. Long, curved, and casting a shadow over his lips, Rupert’s nose was his defining feature. While he had endured childhood taunts and countless jokes about its grandiosity, he now stood proudly, believing this moment would finally make his nose a blessing rather than a curse.
Rupert’s biggest rival was Charles Hartwick, a wealthy landowner whose nose had an aristocratic arch, perfectly suited to his haughty demeanor. Charles, convinced of his own superiority, strutted through town boasting that Margaret’s heart was already his. “A nose is a sign of character,” he declared. “And mine, dear friends, is a nose of distinction.”
The competition itself was a spectacle. There were various rounds: the Measurement Round, where officials determined length and width; the Profile Parade, in which contestants stood sideways for the judges; and the all-important Nose Shadow Challenge, where the suitor whose nose cast the longest shadow at sunset earned extra points.
As expected, Rupert and Charles dominated the rankings, with Rupert holding a slight lead. The final event, however, would be the true test: The Nose of Honor Speech. Each contestant had to deliver a heartfelt proclamation of love to Margaret, proving that their nose was not just an ornament but a bearer of sincerity and passion.
Charles went first, delivering an eloquent but pompous speech filled with flowery language. He compared his nose to a Grecian sculpture and his love to an empire. The crowd was impressed, but Margaret remained impassive, her eyes scanning the stage for something more.
Then came Rupert. He stepped forward, his enormous nose leading the way, and spoke with a quiet confidence. “Margaret, I have lived my whole life believing my nose was a burden. But today, I realize that it has led me here, to you. If love is about seeing beyond the surface, then let my nose be a symbol of my devotion—because no matter how large, it will never overshadow you.”
Silence hung in the air, then erupted into cheers. Margaret smiled—genuine, radiant. She stepped forward and took Rupert’s hand. “I don’t care about the nose,” she said. “I care about the heart behind it.”
The town erupted in celebration, the festival ending with a joyous dance. Charles slunk away, defeated, while Rupert and Margaret shared their first dance beneath the lantern-lit square. From that day on, Rupert’s nose was no longer a source of jest but a legend in Belford’s history. And so, in a town where the biggest nose won the girl, it turned out that the truest heart did as well.
